She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
