youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
So vagazzling was a success
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
