Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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