You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
