Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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