That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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