you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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