I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
vagina is talking i cant
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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