This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize