im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
