All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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