And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
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