My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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