Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
