I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
