69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
