So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
