i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
