she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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