are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
