Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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