sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
