watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
