I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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