it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
