She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Randomize