I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Enjoy the penises
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
