HIV tests are more positive than that guy
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
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