Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
