is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
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