dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
