I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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