No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
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