Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
