But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
