Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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