So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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