i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize