I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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