part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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