i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
