Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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