I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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