so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
