one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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