i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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