Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
