is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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