I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize