He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
