Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
