We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
