I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
