well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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