she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
