i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
