Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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