Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
