Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize